Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
