Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
