Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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