Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
