Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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