I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
