i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
