You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
