i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
