at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
