I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
