Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can you bring me the toilet please
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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