did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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