I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Alive.
So much puke
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
