Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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