Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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