Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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