Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
