if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
