My brain says no but my pants say off.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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