There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Holy sore nipples Batman
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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