So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
