Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
