we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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