I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
