summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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