If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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