He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How does one acquire holy water?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
