I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
