I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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