The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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