As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
