Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
