just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i believe in u and ur pee
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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