no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
