If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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