saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
