so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
