You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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