We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
