Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
