He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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