Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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