Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
