Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
