With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
