I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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