alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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