You smell like stripper and shame
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
