that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
